Archive for December, 2010

Thanks…

December 28, 2010

No good deed goes unpunished.

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March of the…

December 10, 2010

I found myself walking like a penguin today and was even called on it by penguin man himself —-  that dastardly crossdressing friend brian.  The bastard’s rubbing off on Me.

He walks around my house with his pants pulled up almost to his chin wearing his oh so sexy windbreaker pants and other assorted 12 yr old boy clothes.    And he is always walking like a penguin and making other weird animal like talon gestures.  His toenails are disgusting HOWEVER I  commented at dinner last night that I think his face is growing into his skull – that was pretty nice of me.   He let Me know that his childhood friends did actually tease him about having a big head.

  Last night we went for dinner at 10ish, and had drinks as well.  We sat in front of a fireplace and it was  very very fun.  That guy is  a cornucopia of fucking info… so very many kinds.  He and My main sub  got into a long hockey referee convo a few nights ago and the main sub was so enthralled that he let his dinner go ice cold.

I almost crapped my pants when brian picked up the $70 check last night.  He is SUCH a miser.  He doesn’t even turn his gas heating on all winter becasue he’s pissed off at the gas company so he FREEZES.  I think he uses a tiny space heater but has no use at all for his fridge in the winter because he can just leave all the food out anywhere.  He also has a 4 floor house but only lives on the top floor – he thinks perhaps racoons may be burrowing in somewhere in his house.  I can’t even tell you the advark story or whatever animal it was but I sure would fucking love to.

Now he’s gone and I actually miss him.  He’ll have to stay longer next time.  We did a fun magic spell today on my kitchen floor and other assorted para psychology gobbly goo…  I love when that shit works though and work it does oft times.  Carlos Casteneda is quite the muse.  My new gentle giant dog kept getting in the way and I have to fucking sweep dog hair 4 times a day so I can pretend he doesn’t shed.  He’s such a dollface and lazy as crap ~ love it!

Brain and I tried to watch Alfred Hitcock’s “Rebecca” yesterday but the tape quality was crap.  We did watch lotsa’ other good movies though and reallly lounged like lizards.

I saw Sabrina today and she’s being a double – no triple – douchemaster.  Well – one can expect that from someone so young. 

Brian and I went for dinner right before I dropped him at the bus terminal – he could afford a rolls royce but prefers to bicycle 3 km to work everyday.  And when we went for dinner he was back to his old self.  We split the check and he complained about contributing an extra 3 bucks.  He was watching the clock like a HAWK becasue last time he visited I accidentally on purpose dropped him off and he missed the bus by mere minutes.  Sabrina was with me.  Brian had been up for a longer visit and was bugging the shit out of me.  So little did he know that my car clock was wrong.  He had to wait at various terminals for an extra 3-4 hours.  Sabrina and I laughed our asses off hysterically and it is still one of the things that makes me most happy to think of.  Even right now I have a MASSIVE shit eating grin.  Revenge is sooo delicious but if I told you some of my REAL revenge stories you would think I was sick – albeit creative.  And in my opinion the world is already full of wayyy too much “normalcy”.  When I see that sucker coming to bite my ankles and slash at my ass I just call good old brian up for a visit.  Now that fucker’s refreshing !

Hmmmm

December 6, 2010

I wish My young Domme Sabrina would get her skinny ass over to my house to do some domination phone calls.  She has acquired this annoying habit of calling me a few hours before work or right after work for us to hang around so I can drive her to and fro.  Not my thing.  She should just come over for a whole day and night but she complains that I go to bed too early.  Well no fucking wonder  ~  I would rather have my brains fucked out (this is a rather large feat I hope) than listen to a bitchy broad and watch her surf gay facebook.  They did a BIG study on facebook and a shocking discovery was made – facebook is used by emotionally weak individuals who need constant re-inforcement.  WOW!  I’m sure this ground breaking study cost millions.

I am still a little bit sick.  Oh well – at least I don’t have to leave the house to go to work.  That would suck balls.

This is how my life will go in 12 yearsish….

I will be living almost full time in Spain or somewhere similar  and own a little 30 seat bar that plays lots of jazz but it won’t be a jazz bar per se.  I will have about 5 subs and 2 or so completely full time.  I will go into the big city which is about 5 hours away every month or two and fuck young 18 year olds – hopefully I won’t have to pay by then.  I will get sooo drunk, meet complete undesirables, pretend I’m someone different each time, ruin my vagina, smoke 10+ cigarettes every visit and possibly vomit each time.  I will stay for anywhere from 3-7 days and no one will know where I am.  I better have good people working for me at my bar.

I forgot to say that I will be having bi-annual wet underwear contests for men and they will know that if they fuck me they will have a way better chance of winning.  🙂   I’ve won a few wet t-shirt contests before.  I think I’ll let the guys win some cash, a small basket of condoms and some free drinks.

I’m Liking This…

December 5, 2010

I received this comment on My blog today.  And alas – from a girl because you jackasses are usually too lazy to comment……… (This was a comment regarding an Easter post I wrote about when I stripped for a bit.)

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“I have a mole by my ass crack too!!! I always used to freak the fuck out thinking the guy I was with would think it was a piece of poo…anyway, I’ve become obsessed with your blog. I’m a 33 year old girl…I hate calling myself a “woman”…sounds too old ladyish. Awesome girl, if I do say so. Blah blah blah. Your writing is so entertaining! I don’t even know how I came across it….I WAS obsessed with some chick comedian’s blog, but yours is even BETTER! I’ve ran down my phones battery reading your blog. Keep up the good work! Sorry I commented on an old post, but I had to comment on the ass crack mole….”

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Couldn’t have written it better myself.  I like Kathy Griffin.  If she lived near me I would like to be her friend but I don’t know who would be more crazzzzzzy.   Thanks for the feedback.  I kinda’ wished my new dog was a girl so I could say “I’ve gotta’ go now and return to my 2 bitches in my livingroom.”  Pierce Brosnan makes a pretty good Bond so I best watch the end of it.  Write again anyyyyytime!

PS  So you’re the one reading it.

Fun fun week ahead…

December 5, 2010

My friend brian is coming for 3 nights!  He’s a very interesting fellow.  Arguementative, fun, interesting, psycho, smart etc etc.  He also enjoys crossdressing and I KNOW he’d suck a cock or 3 for Me !!!  He’ll be here Mon-Thurs ~ in case you want to tell him how you’d like to suck his cock, how he should suck yours OR if you would really like to come over and suck or BE SUCKED – then JUST LET ME KNOW!  REALLY!

These are some of the things I have planned for us:

-a visit to the local world class art gallery where I’ve had many of My acrylic paintings

-We’re going to see the movie “Burlesque” with Cher.  Brian wants to see it for the outfits.

-I’m taking him to a great steak house with one of my gift certificates from a rt sub.  Mmmmmm !!!

-We’re walking my gorgeous bassett hound and taking him for interesting walks allll over the place.

-I have to show Brian my new house, new room, new bed, new corsets… tons of new shit.  I also have to show him my BDSM computer sites and interesting computer shit.  I’m going to give him one of my many corsets for Christmas.

-We’re probably going to go to a great seafood place.

-We’re going to rent great old movies and foreign films and lounge like lizards.

-We’re going to cook up a storm and have people over…  😉

-And a bunch of other stuff….

I haven’t seen him in 2 years but it feels like about 5 months because time flies !!!  My life is completely different than 2 years ago.  It was pretty friggin’ good then but now it’s absolutely amazing.  However ~~~ I want more HIGH quality regular subs!

Cummmmmmmmm play with us this week slut.  Chicken!

Christmas Chair……

December 4, 2010

2 y’s u r, 2 y’s u b, I c u r, 2 y’s 4 me….   silly little thing.  I remember My aunt who raised Me writing that down when I was very young to see if I could figure it out.  I was known as the ugly duckling ~ the one with the brains.  It was a joke though because I was also so damn  beautiful.  I like when subs come to My door and I look even better  than they expected.  I love their first look.  Although I oft want to just stuff something so far up their filthy ass at first glance that it’s sticking through their eye sockets.  I want to punch, bite, make bleed.  Whip, spit, spank and choke.  I want My new damn loveseat to be free of semen debris as their lapping tongues will never ever come close to this new piece of  pre X-mas luxury.

I want their chesnuts roasting in My open fire with a fine carmelized urine glaze.  I want blood spot soup for dessert.  Pubes caught between shiny white perfect teeth and strands caught in coughing throats.  Black beans in kidneys and rosebuds stuffed too far.  Turkey’s bits, head, neck and ears sheered closely and deliciously cropped.  Nuts and tails wagging between bad boy’s legs.  Fishnets all aglow ~ it’s a major award.  Tongues on toast frosted poles, peeling.  Laughter behind carniverous window pains as teacher gasps and has a secret chuckle.  Be careful with that dangerous hot cock – it’ll blow hard and you’ll shoot your eye out. Fra la la la la.

A super scary dangerous black cliff and a massive bag of semen goodies.  Weird yellow hair and horned malicious teeth.  Baby susie won’t sleep so well tonight.  Jack frost nipping at nipples, toys a tumbling, black currents tasting like shit and sweet potato fries available at every fucking chain good turn.  What ever happened to originality?

The old fucker comes down, hardly fitting.  I grab the biggest fucking dildo I can find.  Bright red with fangs and a circle of thorns rimmmming the base.  Mmmm  delicious jingly balls.  I bend that fat fuck over and see another fat furry ass staring me in the face like I’m being presented with the crown fucking jewels.  I shove cookie after cookie into fat bastards mouth and yell a curdling “Shut the fuck up you dirty whore!”  I fuck that loose ass with so much force and strength that I feel a metallic blood taste cumming up My throat.  Like a hungry whore vampire, strike after strike.  Plumes of God knows what permeating the air and hitting the walls, sticking, sliding.  The fat fuck almost fucked to death.  Panting, perspiring.  I say “Sit the fuck down on this chair and finish your cursed cookies old man”.  He does as instructed.  Looks bewildered.  And sweats like a fucking pig.  Merry fucking Ho Ho.

Slowwwwwwww on NF >>> Busy in life.

December 4, 2010

 

Hmmmmm ~ I haven’t spoken to many of you sluts lately thus contributing to My lack of effort to My diary.  It’s pretty boring writing to God knows who at times.  More of you boys should CALL Me this month especially.  After all – wouldn’t you loooove to make a REAL MISTRESSSSSSSSSS especially happy for the holidays?  A nice long call OR out of the blue tribute would be super friggin’ nice about now.

I got a bassett hound about 10 days ago.  He is HUGE – 60 pounds.  I found him on the computer and when I went to pick him up I thought he would be about 20-30 lbs.  SURPRISE!!  He is a big dollface and I’m going to take him for a big walk later.  Tonight I have to go to some Christmas concert.  Then we’ll probaby go for dinner.

I had a massive fuckfest last night… on My new bed.  I’ll tell you about My new bed later.  It’s the first new bed I’ve ever had.  Weird eh?  I’m a self made woman and a new bed just didn’t seem high priority.

I had the flu for a good 5 days and felt like shit.  Plus – my computer connection was crapping out  lately.  At least all is well now.

Too bad I didn’t do a real scene last night.  I wasn’t sure if I would be up to it.

I’m bored.  I’m chairman of the bored……..

I received a bunch of cooool shit in the mail thanks to some good gift certificates from potential real time subs…  Feel free to send me an amazon card for Christmas.  I really love those!

TIME TO SPOIL ME FOR CHRISTMAS AND I REALLY NEED TO BE SPOILED NOW !!!!!

At the very least ~ make sure you call this holiday season !!!  Like TODAY ………. !